A lot has been going on for me the last few months regarding closing the doors on some friendships in my life.
There has been a lot of back and forth over a few friendships, and there has been a few where I am certain they need to go. I set a date for after Christmas as not to be a super Grinch so that I could remove them after the holiday just to do it as nicely as possible. While the doors may have shut on those relationships, I don’t plan on being inconsiderate on how I end things. I will just quietly remove them from Facebook and if they contact me about it I will explain why they were removed as honestly but kindly as possible.
I watched a video just this morning on deciding when some friendships deserve a second chance. There are a couple I’ve wavered over because there was a lot of good I saw in those people and/or those friendships. I had seen some things over the last few years that bothered me, but more recently as I’ve grown and matured, it’s been an issue for me as I feel we are growing apart in many ways. I’m still stuck on what to do with them because I still feel back and forth over it. I’ve made no certain decisions over them yet because of that.
One friend and I have just grown apart in many ways. She is on a different level with life choices and behavior that I am not on. I’ve grown and moved past a lot of things that she has not. I see a lot of potential in her and I know she’s a good person in many ways. Yet I also see she is still stuck in a lot of immature behavior that I have no interest in. That doesn’t mean she is a horrible person, it simply means we are in different places in our lives, and I handle things in a different way.
She did not handle an issue well recently, and then flipped out on me over it…. It was the classic, “I blame you because I cannot see any faults in my behavior” defensive response so many folks do. I saw it for what it was and tried to address the actual issue in a way that hopefully might get through to her. I did not let her suck me into drama, arguing, blaming or fighting. I’m just not getting into that. It’s a waste of energy and time.
I was very thankful for the growth I’ve done because I was able to see her actions for what they were and how she was deflecting. I was able to respond with that in mind rather than getting sucked into an argument because I reacted based on only what she said. I truly hope at some point she is able to see things in that light as well! She is a very smart lady. I don’t feel she always has the best influences in her life who encourage personal growth and maturity, and I truly believe having influence that do makes a world of difference. I think she deserves good friends who lift her up, discourage negative behavior, and help bring out the best in her!
Despite that issue, I still see good in her and the friendship. I feel like there might be potential for a second chance for a friendship at some point. However, right now I don’t think that is something that will happen. Time has passed and we haven’t spoken since the disagreement. Nothing has changed or moved forward toward repair. It’s unfortunate but that is just the situation at the moment. I fully believe in setting healthy boundaries in your life and standing by them when others try to break them. One of the things that I did not appreciate from her was comments attacking me for sharing on Facebook that I was setting healthy boundaries for myself and was weeding out those who did not respect them. It is never okay to attack a person for setting healthy boundaries! They are much needed! And again, this is something she said because of the place she’s in, not because of me.
I don’t take removing friends from my life lightly in any way. It is necessary at times though. This is an unfortunate fact of life we will face many times in our lives. These are toxic people who you need to have the courage to walk away from completely. They are only harming you and those you interact with. I hope that my friend, and everyone else out there, will find that courage for themselves so they can remove the influences that hurt their lives. Those people will drain you and suck the life out of you. You CANNOT move onward to better things if you are keeping yourself stuck in a circle of negativity!
I will continue to think on the friendships I have that I am uncertain about. It’s always best to put a lot of time, thought, care, and consideration into major decisions with those you care deeply about. As for the folks I’ve had to part ways with, I am truly thankful for the good memories we shared and the bits of good they put into my life – no matter how small! They came into my life for a reason and I appreciate that fact. I wish them the best in life and I truly hope each person is able to be their best one day! I don’t wish ill will on them, but that doesn’t mean they have a place in my life. Some relationships just are not meant to be.
Today I hope that each one of you who reads this finds a circle of amazing people who help you be your very best! You each deserve a circle of people who do good in your life and who aren’t a negative drain on you! I want you all to find those people and hold out for them in your life! ❤
If I don’t talk to you tomorrow, have a very wonderful Christmas to all of you who celebrate it!! ❤❤❤