I sit here at my desk, eating chocolate, and saying goodbye.
I’ve reached that place where I’m fully letting go of so much. I feel 2017 is the year of change – and I really need to start embracing that. I can’t keep holding onto how things were. I can’t keep holding onto the past or the ways I used to do things. Everything has changed, and is currently changing. I have to be in that moment, fully present in it.
It’s time to say goodbye.
The song of that name from the RWBY soundtrack was playing in my head my whole drive home this afternoon. It just felt like the theme song to everything right now. Following that is the song, This Will Be the Day, also from RWBY.
I’ve known since the end of last year that things were changing in my life A LOT. I could see it, feel it. Friendships were ending. Life was changing. Career paths unsure. New memories being made. Dreams being realized.
Today was yet another reminder of how much life changes. I said goodbye to an old friend who I drifted apart from a long time ago. Her moving felt like the final goodbye for me. I got a little closure and got to send her best wishes on her new journey in life.
I was saddened by it, but I also felt we were very different people and had very different lives now. And it reminded me how much I’ve seen that in relationships in the last year. I’ve grown and changed so much, and now I’m seeing the evidence in the goodbyes happening in life.
I have to be accepting of this though. These are things that NEED to happen. I have grown apart from these people and it’s not right for them to be in my world anymore. It pains me so much, but I can’t cling to what I know isn’t right for either of us.
When we refuse to let go, we hold ourselves back from new doors opening in our world. We hinder ourselves by desperately grabbing onto what you want things to be instead of what they are. We aren’t getting to see all that is out there for us.
It hurts when things change. It hurts to say goodbye. It hurts when doors close. It hurts when everything is different. But you have to focus on the good behind it. Things change so new things can bloom in your life. You have to remember that and find a peace about letting go. The sadness and hurt is temporary. Put your focus on the exciting unknown to come! Open yourself up to possibility and new dreams.
Right now I am going to cry, because the hurt is there and I am grieving my goodbyes. Tomorrow I will wake up and look forward to all of what is to come, and embrace all of these new changes in life. I will be excited for all the wonderful possibilities out there for me! I will have hope and faith in the future. I will open myself for new experiences and willingly embrace the newness.
But today, today I am going to eat chocolate while I listed to RWBY songs and cry. ❤