Let’s get real – I am not perfect! I struggle with a lot of the same things you do Today, for example, I was dealing with some melancholy and sadness for a bit. No idea why I felt either because it was a really fruitful day for me! Yet the emotions came up, so I decided to acknowledge them, and then move forward when I felt ready. I often struggle with regret and wondering if I could have done something better. I deal with sadness over situations where the other person really could have done better and been better. There are a lot of hiccups I face of a monthly, weekly, and sometimes daily basis!
One such issue that has come up often for me is allowing negative people into my life and not giving them the boot when I realize how bad for my world they are. Part of the reason for this is because I’m what’s commonly termed an “empath,” which simply means I feel things very deeply and connect to people deeply. I also have a strong desire to help others and better the world. That has often put me in a boat of getting used and taken advantage of. I give people the benefit of the doubt and I believe they want to be the best them possible. This is sometimes not the case.
The sad truth is that a lot of people don’t want to improve themselves. They don’t want to be the best version of them possible. They don’t want to work on their flaws or make improvements. These are the folks you have to watch out for. These are the ones who will only add negativity to your life. The drama starters. The immature. The can’t keep a job folks. The leeches. The victims of the world. The users. The liars. The gossipers. The angry at everything folks. And the list goes on.
Basically anyone who is adding negativity to your life on a regular basis – THEY NEED TO GO.
“But they are my friend/co-worker/cousin etc!” It doesn’t matter. You cannot create a positive life with negative people in it. There are many negative folks that you will have to deal with in one form or another throughout life. You may have a boss who is angry 24/7. Your mother may be a constant victim of everything in the world happening to her. You do have choices in those situations. You can distance yourself from toxic family members. Yes it can be difficult, but how much will your life benefit having that black cloud of yuck gone?? Same with your job. It may be very difficult to find a new one, but how much does your happiness and well-being really mean to you??
The one thing I can count on is that every time a negative person enters my world, it suddenly gets a lot less enjoyable. These folks may not mean to, but they suck the life out of you and dampen your joy. This is not only unhealthy for you, but it’s also unfair! Why are you continuing to subject yourself to that? YOU DON’T HAVE TO HAVE NEGATIVE PEOPLE IN YOUR WORLD!
You are reading this for a reason. You want a happy life. You want to enjoy your daily living. You want to be around people with the same ideas and positive outlook. So stop allowing people into your world who only bring negativity! I understand that a lot of times we hope we can be a good influence and lift them up into a better way of living. Rarely have I seen that happen. In fact, I can count the times I’ve seen that in all my years on one hand. 95% of the time they will drag you down while you try to lift them up. They have to decide to better themselves when they are willing to do it.
That old cheesy quote – “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.” – is 100% spot on! You cannot help people who want to help themselves. And most of the toxic folks you meet will not want to help themselves. They want to vent to you, use you, take things out on you, and suck the joy from your life. Don’t allow them!
You are building an AMAZING life for yourself. You are working hard to improve your world and bring good into it. Think of it as a sand castle built on the beach. You can spend hours working hard, adding in the incredible detail, and making it something that takes your breath away. But one bucket of water can destroy it all. Even if it damages just a part of your castle, you still have to do more work to repair it. Think of those folks as buckets of water that pour out water on your castle every week. As soon as you get your castle looking spectacular, they dump on it and create a mess. Once again, you fix it up and here they come to ruin it again.
How important to you is your castle?
How important is you mental health and well-being?
How important is your sanity and your peace of mind?
How important is your happiness and your joy?
How important to you is your life?
These are the questions you have to ask yourself when it comes to deciding who stays and who goes from your life. What is all that worth to you? Are you really willing to give that up for a person who does nothing but harms your world and brings problems to it?
You will face this situation many times in your life. Keep yourself focused on your goals and you will be able to remove those people because you know that’s what is best for you. Work on picking up the signs of a person like that earlier on so you can avoid some of the stress and heartache. Remind yourself that you ARE strong enough to walk away, no matter how close you have become. If you keep working on those things, it will begin to get easier for you to handle when it comes up. You won’t hesitate as much about cutting ties with someone you see is a toxic influence. You’ll feel proud of yourself for recognizing it for what it is, and you should be! Bettering yourself and your life is ALWAYS something to be proud of.
You have to put your well-being first. You are important and you deserve a healthy life!