Marriage Is Hard But It’s Always Worth The Work

Just about two weeks ago, Mr. Divine walked out on his family. His reasons were that he wasn’t happy and he didn’t want to try anymore. Not very strong reasons, but he felt validated in leaving none the less. Nothing I said, did or apologized for helped. He was determined to walk out and abandon his wife and child no matter what. He did not look back, immediately putting in an address change request and telling me he wanted all his stuff.

The last few weeks have been a total nightmare as one could expect. Little Divine is a huge mess, and she misses her dad. Beyond that, she is utterly disappointed in him for what he did. She hurting and acts out every day. She has a hard time getting anything done and prefers to get lost in her books. I had to sign her up for counseling because having the only father you’ve ever known walk out on you is devastating. Having it happen for no good reason is even worse. I don’t want her to have abandonment issues because of what he did. She’s had a really good, trauma free life so far. I don’t want that ruined and her permanently scarred. Even with counseling, the wounds he inflicted will always be in her heart.

Marriage is hard. Mr. Divine and I have been together almost 3 years. That is such a small amount of time in the grand scheme of things. We had many, MANY more years to come together as a family. Mr. Divine has had a hard life and has been abandoned by almost everyone in his life. He’s spent his whole life being unwanted and unloved. That does a lot of damage to a person. It creates a lot of baggage and issues that if not addressed, can destroy your life. I’ve got my own baggage from my personal history including a lot of trauma I’ve done my best to heal from. The difference between Mr. Divine and I is that I have actively looked to heal myself and get better.

Our society tells me to suck everything up and deal with it. It doesn’t allow them to have emotions or hurt over wrongs that were done to them. They are expected to take the hits and brush them off like nothing. They aren’t allowed to be wounded or scarred. They are expected to be Teflon. This does no one good. We are raising men who have no idea how to deal with the crap going on with them. They cannot communicate, they cannot express emotions, they bottle everything up and don’t deal with their issues. This creates broken marriages and broken homes.

We do a HUGE disservice to human kind when we treat our boys and men like this. We are fostering broken people remaining broken, and putting that brokenness into everything they do and touch. It’s not healthy and it needs to stop. Boys and men need to be allowed to feel emotions and express themselves. They need to be shown that communicating in a healthy way is a good thing no matter what your gender. They need to be allowed to be soft and not always expected to just tough things out.

Mr. Divine lived in a world full of people who didn’t help him be the best man he could. I was the one exception to that. I saw who he was, brokenness and all, and I chose to love him as he was. Did that mean I didn’t want him to be the best person he could be? No! My job, as any spouse’s job is, is to love him and try to help him be the best man he can. My job is most importantly to love him no matter what. This goes against a lot of current opinion in society that women need to not take a man’s crap and they should walk away from men who don’t do what they want.

I’m old fashioned and I do not believe that is the right attitude to create healthy relationships and marriages. “The grass is greener….” attitude is harmful to both genders. Walking away and quitting over small things, like arguing, is harmful. When you choose to be with a person you commit to them and you commit to your relationship even during the hardest times. You don’t quit on a person for making a mistake or hurting you.

Which is why I love Mr. Divine and always will. I had a friend make it very clear that she thinks what he did is horrible and that she does not want me to give him another chance ever again. She was so adamant in her stance, that she started distancing herself from me over having normal emotions over our situation, and mostly I think it’s because she wanted me to hate him and never want him back.

I can’t do that. That’s not who I am. It’s not who I choose to be. I choose to love my husband. I choose to forgive him. I choose to stand by his side even when he walks away from me and cuts all ties.

That’s the woman I want to be.

My walk is not yours. You have to make your own decisions about what is best for you in your situation. For me, I’ve spent my life carrying the heaviest weights of life. I am a very strong woman and life seems to think that means I should get the hardest trials. I am very used to going through hell and making it out just fine eventually. That is a part of my purpose and journey in life. I’m able to bear the weight and keep standing.

As I said above, marriage is hard. Mr. Divine and I stopped communicating well at least a month before he left. Mr. Divine was going through a lot of serious life situations and I think it was a lot for him to handle. Neither one of us was wanting to upset the other, so we both kept saying we were fine. We hurt our relationship by doing that. We went to bed angry, and even slept in separate rooms at times. That was also extremely harmful to our relationship. We stopped REALLY talking to each other.

Eventually he got to a point where all of the things going on were overwhelming him and he just didn’t want to deal anymore. No, this is not the healthy way to handle life but it’s the way he chose to do it. I let him go simply because that’s what he wanted. I did what I could to try to talk him out of it but he was determined to be stubborn in his poor decision. That’s his choice, one he will have to live with for the rest of his life. One he will have haunt him for the rest of his life.

He is welcome home at any time. Things will not go back to what they were before, they can’t. We need marriage counseling. And there will need to be remedies for the damage and broken trust caused. But I will always have my door open to him whenever he wants to come home. I choose to be the woman who does that instead of the woman who throws him away like every single person he’s ever had in his life has done to him.

Everyone deserves to be loved. Even the people who are the hardest to love. Even the people who hurt you the most and break your heart. It’s a choice to love those people and it’s one I choose to make.

I let Mr. Divine go 100%. I sent the last messages I would to him, then I deleted all the messages as well as his contact info. I won’t contact him again. The ball is in his court and it will remain that way. I will be the woman he loves and keep our family and our home running on my own. I’ve taken care of myself on my own most of my life so it’s nothing new for me. Mr. Divine was the one time in life I got to really share my life and world with someone else. I’m sad he chose to end that.

Most importantly, I hope one day he realizes that he made a mistake and remembers all he had.

And I hope he chooses to come home.

We both had our friends fail our relationship. His buddies screwed him over by not telling him to go home and make it work. They did him no good by their actions. They failed as friends and they will be stuck with that knowledge for the rest of their lives, that they helped destroy a family for no reason. Those people are people I will never trust again. They made a choice and they are responsible for it. They will forever live with what they did and the lives they destroyed.

My own friends who have been hurtful to me over still loving him, they also have blame they hold. They tried to force me to do and see things as they wanted without any interest in how we feel. They then distanced themselves from us because we refused to hate him and give up on him. That’s not friendship. You choose to be there for friends, not demand they do things your way or you stop being there for them. I will never forget the friends who put us in that situation. When we needed them the most, they chose to fail us because we still chose to love the man who we shared every single day with.

I’m disappointed all around in the people who know and how much they let us all down. I’ve got a daughter who is broken and hurting, and all she wants is her dad back. I haven’t eaten much in weeks. One friend told me she could tell how much weight I’ve lost in just a week. I’m a mess. I miss my husband. I am angry and hurt and so very sad. My life has been shattered and my heart ripped to shreds.

And none of this had to happen. It was all over a few arguments during a time when a lot was going on in our lives. There was no need for it to go like this. It was all such a waste. What we had was a love story for the books. It was incredible how we fell in love right away. We were best friends, lovers, and soul mates. Our life was so amazing together. Yes, we had some really hard times, but the majority of them were really good. And as time went on, our foundation got stronger and we kept conquering any issues that got in our way.

It always got better. Mr. Divine lost sight of that along the way. I’m so very sad for him because what an awful feeling to lose hope.

I won’t quit hoping. I have faith in our love and in us. I trust that we met and fell in love for a reason. And most importantly, I want him to know that I won’t ever quit on him. Years can go by and I still won’t quit on him. I will always see the best in him because I know him in a way no one else ever has. I will always love him because I will always feel he deserves to be loved. Everyone deserves at least one person who is completely committed to them and won’t ever quit on them. I will always be that for Mr. Divine.

Keep working on your marriage. Day in and day out do the work to make it amazing. Talk, really talk. Be open with each other and never go to bed mad. Wake up each morning giving the day a fresh start and wiping the slate clean. Value all the good there is in each other. Love each other unconditionally. Never quit on each other. Believe in the love you share and the foundation you’ve built. Trust one another. Put your family first. Don’t ever stop putting in the hard work because in 10  years it will all have been so worth it.

Stay strong through the hardships in life. Trust in the process and look for what you can learn through the experience. Remember, you are so very strong even when you don’t feel that way. Keep going forward even when all you can do it crawl. If you need support, I will be here for you the best I can. I know what it’s like to hurt and struggle. I also know that you can survive this and come out the other side. I have faith in you.

Don’t forget to check out my Esty Shoppe featuring unique and one of a kind items! Dragon Fire Rose

My Etsy Shoppe Can Now Ship Internationally!

I’m ecstatic right now! I found a way to make international shipping for my small jewelry business a reality and without extreme extra costs!

I had been keeping my sales to the United States only, but I recently sold a Southwestern style set to a gentleman who’s wife works in London. He said that they adore her Southwester jewelry where she works and ask to buy it off of her! He suggested I find a way to ship my pieces internationally because he felt it would open up the market more for me.

A little about this business – I have been running Dragon Fire Rose since 2013. We’ve done everything from selling Lego figures to selling kids gift sets to selling jewelry. I have the creative bug in my soul and I just *LOVE* coming up with new ideas of fun things to sell!

I started making very simple fashion earrings. Nothing fancy, just cute little charms on silver plated hooks. I sell them super cheap because I understand now everyone has a huge budget for accessories. Some of us scrimp and save just to supply our family’s basic needs. I get that 100%!

I kept going to the jewelry supply shops and would just have my breath taken away by the amazing pieces I saw there. I wanted to turn them into something so badly! I eventually took the plunge and followed my heart. In winter 2016 I began hand making jewelry sets. Again, I kept budget in mind and used a mix of plated pieces to keep prices for customers low. I understand that finances come first! I include a fee pair of my fashion earrings with each set. I believe that giving a little extra blesses someone and sends good karma forward!

I’ve been working on my designs and ways to keep prices low. I also take a few sets and make them higher end for the folks looking to spend more. I have a GORGEOUS amethyst set waiting to be made! I am planning to use sterling silver on the set and I found a lovely Italian purse in a silver shade that I want to pair with it for the ultimate set!

A little about me – I worked full time as a nanny until last September. I had a nasty fall in the end of summer last year that was “supposed” to heal within a couple of months. It hasn’t…. I deal with daily pain and so far I have no answers as to why. I’ve been seeing a specialist, a hand surgeon, who still can’t find the cause. So I live with pain every single day. I go to bed with pain and I wake up with pain. I don’t have full use of my right hand anymore. It’s just a part of my life now.

My jewelry business has been a way for me to try and find another way to provide an income for my family. Now I can only nanny part time. I currently work maybe once a week as I try to find more families in my town who need just once or twice a week care. I make jewelry and I paint because I truly love doing it and creating beauty fulfills me. It brings me joy to take a mix of pieces and turn them into a beautiful thing!

Now you can see why I am so excited that I can ship internationally! It means opening a wider door for my business. I plan to expand my art work this coming week with pages of old books with a print of some sort on the front. There is beauty to be found everywhere – you just have to find the person who sees the beauty in it!

If you love jewelry or artwork, if you know anyone who does, please share the link to my Etsy Shoppe. I know A LOT of people ask that kind of thing. I shared a little of my story to hopefully explain why it would mean the world to me!

I am not one to look upon this experience as a time to quit and live in misery. I look at this experience as a way to grow and expand myself. Living day to day with pain is not fun. It is not something I wish anyone to experience. Yet I STILL work hard to be productive and help my family! I refuse to quit, I refuse to give up. I will keep working however I can, and I will find my success!

Limitations hit you in life when you least expect the. I had no idea a simple fall would cause me daily pain that has lasted almost a year already. I had no idea it would change my life. Limitations will strike you at the most inopportune moments. They will hit you hard and they will hurt. They will bring you to your knees and make you question everything.

But remember – YOU HAVE TO GET BACK UP. Don’t lay down, don’t quit, don’t stop. GET BACK UP. You can fight. You can push forward.  You can find balance again. It hurts and it’s hard. It takes more work than words can express. But you have to get back up. You are stronger than you know. You can find your way again. Hang onto that hope even in the darkest hours. You are so amazing and I am so proud of you even when you fall back down again!

I want you all to know I appreciate each one of you, though I’ve never met you in person. And I want you to know you are loved and you are amazing! Thank you for being apart of this blog and thank you to those who choose to share my Etsy Shoppe info!

Remember, you can survive all that life throws at you. You are stronger than you ever imagined.

Dragon Fire Rose Creations – A place where beauty and art live!

Savor The Quiet Moments

It’s early and I’m the only one awake. I like times like these, mornings like these, because I get to enjoy the quiet. Life is so busy, so active. We are always doing something, going somewhere, living our lives. It feels like we don’t get many moments of just quiet. Moments to unwind, moments to relax.

Mornings are the time I usually get by myself. I seem to have an internal alarm clock that has me up by 7:45am even on the weekends. If I’ve gotten enough sleep the night before, I’ll go ahead and get up early. If not, I can usually fall back asleep.

Today was one of those early mornings. My house is quiet, everyone else is asleep. The weather here has been unpredictable. Yesterday it rained all day. I woke up this morning to a soft fall of rain and snow on all the cars. It snowed up in the mountains a lot. We are having what looks to be a mid Spring winter!

I’ve put the coffee on and as I wait for it, I work around the house with only the sound of the rain falling softly in the background. It’s really wonderful. The quiet is a good time to reflect and feel centered after a long week. It’s a good time to not have to talk or interact with anyone. It’s peaceful and calming for me.

When we don’t set aside down time for ourselves it can affect us. We need time to recharge, time to de-stress, time to unwind. Even the most go go go people need this, even if it’s just a small amount of time. If I don’t get these moments I am a lot more snappy and less patient. I’ve reached my limit of stimulus and doing things. I just need a breather.

I recommend finding some YOU time. Take a nice hot bath. Chill out and listen to the bubbles of your bubble bath pop. Take an evening with a glass of wine in front of the fireplace and just listen to the sounds of the fire. Sit outside and watch the stars. Do yoga outside while the sun rises over you. Or get up early in the morning like I do and enjoy the quiet of the house and the morning sounds outside.

Find what works for YOU. What will feed your soul, unwind you, and bring you calmness. Each person is different and what works for one may not work for another. I think you are very important and so is your well-being. Make you sure you are remembering to take some time for you so you can be at your best and feel at your best. It’s okay to do things just for you! We cannot give and be there for others if we are running on empty all the time.

Sometimes you just need to stop and breathe. Relax. Find your peace of mind. ❤

Healthy Changes for the New Year

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A new year means a host of people talking about changes they will make in life. This is nothing new, we all do this every year and  have for a very long time. A lot of people make negative comments about being sick of hearing, “New Year, New Me” from others. I don’t think it’s ever healthy to put folks down for wanting to better themselves. It doesn’t matter what time of year it is, someone deciding to do better is ALWAYS a good thing!

I began working on myself after having Little Divine. At the time I was a young single mom and my life was a mess. I made a lot of poor life decisions and it was time to start cleaning them up. I’ve spent the last 11 years doing exactly that. It didn’t happen overnight. There were many times where I would improve one area and leave another area still stuck in bad patterns. It wasn’t an all at once process. It took me a very long time to get to a place where I could fully look at myself and my life, and work on many things at once.

It also took a very long time to see all the areas where I had faults and be humble enough to work on them. Admitting you need work in an area…. or ten…. is not easy for a lot of people, myself included. I am where I am today, and who I am today, because I was committed to working hard on myself even when it hurt.

I am far from finished! Not even close. But I have come leaps and bounds from the scared girl with a new baby, completely unsure how to life and adult in her new situation as a mom. Today I am confident in who I am as a person. I’ve learned SO much in life and I try to keep my eyes open and be aware of things in my world. Daily I try to improve myself as a person so I can grow better and better, and be a better person for those I know! ❤

I have many goals for this new year! One of our family goals is to eat a little less junk. I’m sure that is on a lot of goal lists for the year for many folks. Our world is a very different place now. Cheap and easy junk is readily available at very low prices. We don’t farm our own food for meals anymore. We rely on stores and restaurants to feed us.

We are looking forward to when we can buy a home with some acreage in the mountains nearby. When we do, we fully intend to learn how to grow our own food. Mr. Divine and his friend already hunt yearly and bring home a huge amount of meat doing so. I’d like to see us be able to do more at home as well. This will be a huge help in the, “eating less junk” goal because you can’t grow a cake in the backyard!

In the mean time, we are starting with small changes. Starting small is the best way to meet goals because you don’t overwhelm yourself. Our goal is to eat less junk, not stop eating all unhealthy things altogether. That would be such a daunting task!! I started off our new goal with a simple shopping trip to Costco. Now, normally I shop for sales and deals on all thing, ESPECIALLY food, but this week I was just so tired and spent from all we had going on.

Costco sells in bulk and often the prices are better than buying smaller amounts in the grocery stores. This is not always the case, which is why I check my sales sheets weekly. I shop the best deals and work my meals plans around them so I can spend as little as possible on the best food possible.

My goal for this week was simple – buy some produce to replace junk snacks in lunches. That was it! I picked up apples, oranges, celery, bananas and carrots. Done! While this requires I cut up things for each lunch, it’s worth the small bit of extra work to know I’m giving my family healthier food. We had been getting small snacks prepackaged that were quick and easy to add to a lunch. I’m still sending those here and there with the healthier foods just to get them gone.

I don’t like wasting food so I don’t throw it in the trash. I’d rather we eat it and it be gone, then we can focus on the other stuff. Or even throw one in here and there as a rare treat. That way no one feels deprived and it makes it a much more special item in their lunches!

Small steps will help you reach your goals! Remember to revel and celebrate in each goal you reach, no matter how small! Every step you take and every goal you meet is amazing! You should be VERY proud of yourself for working hard for yourself and doing better for YOU! ❤

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The Sound of Closing Doors

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Do you ever feel like doors to a path in life are closing for you? Sometimes you see it coming, sometimes it is very unexpected. I’m there right now. I’ve spent most of my life working with children. Even when I was one, I was babysitting and tutoring. I spent my life working with kids on and off in one way or another. After I had Little Divine 10 and a half years ago, I tried to go to work away from her. I was a single mom, my mother had dumped me in this state when she was supposed to take us with her so I could finish school and work from home doing Medical Transcription. Since she failed to do that, I ended up taking a retail job and putting my newborn in daycare. It was an absolutely shitty position to be in and I cried every single day. There are no nice words to express the place I was put in. It was miserable. :/

Thankfully a girl at the daycare recommend I just apply for a job there. I had past childcare experience so I went for it and I got hired. I spent the next 4 years working in daycare. It had a lot of rewards but I was at a place that took advantage of the hard workers and mistreated a lot of employees. They ended up dealing with a lot of legal issues for many years after that because of their lack of respect for the rules and for human beings.

After I left the daycare, I decided to do home childcare. From 2011 till 2016 I worked from home watching children. I’ve seen so many kiddos grow up in those years! I’ve been blessed to be a part of each one of their lives. ❤ There were both good and bad moments. Many times I struggled to bring in enough income. I live in a very low income state so it was hard to get paid well doing childcare. Yet with a little one of my own, other work wasn’t an option since I also couldn’t afford childcare on the pay I could get from jobs I would qualify for.

We had years of good pay and years of struggling. But we stuck with it through it all because I loved what I did and it gave me the freedom to stay home with Little Divine and see her grow. There is nothing I would trade for those moments! I got to see all of her firsts and I got to be there for everything. As a single parent, that is very rare!

The last two years I mostly worked with one kiddo. He had a lot of behavioral issues and was asked to leave his preschool. We had a hard time with his family as his dad was a jerk, plain and simple, and his parents were split up so we were often put in the middle of bad situations. Dad complained all the time about paying me, despite the fact that I discounted my rates for them and I was barely making it off the pay. They would constantly change their schedules and hours last minute, often giving me zero notice. They didn’t want to pay cancellation fees or deal with paying for last minute schedule changes. I often got different stories and times from each parent. All their instability created extra issues for their son who did not need any of that.

When I sent him off to kindergarten this past August I was exhausted. They had sucked all the joy out of childcare for me. They drained me completely. The idea of watching kids exhausted me. I decided to take a break for a bit. We had tons of stuff left over to sell from my resale business and I was making my $2 fashion earrings that seemed to sell well. I had saved up a bit over the last couple of months because I had a feeling I would need a break. I just didn’t have anything left to give after that.

Since then I feel like the doors to childcare are closing for me. I don’t know if it’s because we haven’t found the right family yet or if it’s because I am meant to do something else. I have been applying for jobs on Care.com weekly but so far no go on any of the ones I feel would work for us.

I got another message today telling me they found someone else. I keep feeling like I’m supposed to focus elsewhere. A few weeks ago I took my jewelry making to a new level and started making higher cost sets that people seem to really love. Apparently I have a really good eye for it and I’ve been told I’m great at my craft! For someone new to it, that’s a huge compliment! ❤

Maybe this is what I’m supposed to do instead. I honestly don’t know. I wish life came with clear signs in the direction you should take! Instead I am working on selling off all the resale items left and everything we don’t need  in the house. Little Divine has been bringing down hoards of toys from her room for me to sell as she’s getting older and is weeding out what she doesn’t use. We have a small income coming in from that and now I’m  slowly selling jewelry sets. Eventually I want to work on refinishing furniture too. And I am working on my photo editing and photography work.

I’ve always felt my creative pursuits benefit me the most and I really, REALLY love doing work involving them! Maybe this is why the doors to what I’ve done just to make it through the last few years keep closing. Maybe it’s time to find something new that I truly love. Mr. Divine tells me often that he wants me to find something I love to do. I love him for so many reasons but that is one of them. He doesn’t care if I make millions. He wants me to do what I love and succeed at it!

So I start off the holiday weekend with hope for my jewelry business to bloom into more, and more new doors to open for my life! I have hope for the next year to bring more joy and more happiness in whatever work I do. I look forward to seeing what doors will open as these ones close. I’m very excited to see what happens! ❤

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You And I Deserve To Be Respected

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Today I am going to talk about respect. Respect is vital to our lives and it is important that those in your life and in your circle respect you, as you should respect them. When there is a lack of respect for one another, there is a serious issue that needs to be looked at.

The quote above blew me away today. I went online looking for a simple quote graphic with just the last sentence and I found this one as well. It really knocked me back because it took the last sentence so much further and really pushed me to think a lot harder on what I’ve been allowing my life. I am a giver. I care and I like to do what I can for others. Yet time and time again I’ve found myself on the end of a friendship that involves me being taken and taken and taken from, with very little to nothing put back in. I end up getting used or taken advantage of, and sucked dry emotionally.

The last few months have really been an eye opener for me regarding the kind of people I’ve had around me and how much they don’t fit well in my life anymore. One of the main things that has stood out to me is how poorly the majority of them have treated me. Yet I’ve kept these friendships going because I see good in these people. Reading that picture above today really hit me hard today because it is a clear explanation of why I’ve ended up stuck in bad friendships with people who don’t respect me.

Simply put – It’s happened because I allowed it to.

Yes, that is a huge responsibility taking statement right there! I have been treated poorly time and time again because I haven’t cut it off and walked away. I have stuck around, seeing the good in a person, and hoped they would change. Yet the evidence has been 100% showing that they will not!

With all the changes in my life and this new place I am in, I am ready to let go and move on. Respect is something I deeply value and I get so little of it from those I know right now. It’s extremely saddening to me that I am valued SO little by these people! They have made that VERY clear in their actions over the last months and years. And I know that as a human being I deserve better. We all do!

That means getting up the gumption to walk away and cut ties. That’s the hardest part for me. Can you believe that I actually feel GUILTY for cutting these awful people out of my life?! I do! I seriously feel like a bad person for giving up on them, despite the fact that I mean zero to them and they gave up on me a long time ago. I shouldn’t feel guilty and neither should you! People who treat you like garbage and bring negativity into your world need to GO!! No guilt! Open the door for healthy people who bring positivity and good into your world to come into your life instead!

I know I will feel bad after I remove these people. And then I will remind myself that there was a very good reason each person was removed and I will stop feeling bad. I deserve to have a circle of people who encourage me, support me, keep their word, bring positivity in my world, are there for me, and who want the best for me. I am happy waiting to find people like that as time goes on! I’d rather have zero friends and be in a good place. Because fake friends who treat you like garbage and disrespect you will only hurt you. Don’t keep them around until you find better friends. Who you surround yourself with will affect your life. It will affect what people you attract in life. You need to let the toxic people go.

I can hear Elsa singing in the background right now, “Let it go! Let it go!” This needs to be our mantra in life. If something is not good for you and it bring negativity and toxicity into your life, LET IT GO! You have to make space for the good in life and the people who bring good into your world. You have to say goodbye to old friends you’ve had for many, many years who eat away at your heart and soul. You have to put yourself and your well-being first.

You have to let them go from your life.

You can do this.

I will be waiting until after Christmas as to not be a totally heartless ass. Then my Facebook page gets a beautiful purging! I am so excited! It gives me SO much freedom and hope to remove people from my life who do not belong in it! I know I am opening the doors to much better people and situations! I am looking forward to a new year with a very, VERY small friends list on Facebook and in real life.

2017 will be the year of NEW!

You can make that happen for you too! (^.^) You are worth having good people around! ❤

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Greedy Looks Ugly On You

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Photo courtesy of http://quotes.lifehack.org

It’s that time of morning again. The time when I’m up early doing my thing online, and being disgusted by what I see. Today I’ll be talking about greed and bragging. Oh boy!

I am a small business owner. I run my own childcare business on and off, though after the last 2 years of working with a family I’ve been taking time off to do resale and work on my jewelry business. You can find a lot of my work on my Etsy shop or on my Facebook page. (No shame in a little self promotion here!) I think small businesses are important and we should support those who have a small business because you support the people who have a family rather than a large company. I shop through small businesses as much as possible, even people who sell through companies like Avon and such, because you are still supporting the person’s work even though they didn’t hand make their product.

One lady contacted me a while back and we ran into each other at a fun event for families. I thought she seemed nice and she sent me a friend request on Facebook. We haven’t really chatted much other than about doing local craft shows for my jewelry because that may be a good way to get my business the jump start it needs and to sell a bunch of stuff at a time. She sells through a direct sales company, and I thought it would be nice to order a few things from her here and there. Mind you, she’s never once asked about my items. I like to put out the good even if others don’t. Be the example you want to see in the world! ❤

I got on Facebook the other day, and there is a post from her showing off a brand new SUV. We’re talking right off the dealership lot. And she’s saying in the post, “I was really good this year.” Right off the bat I’m bothered. I don’t think bragging is classy by any means. I don’t think rubbing your wealth in the faces of others is considerate or tactful behavior. We no longer live in a day and age where people think before they act or keep anything to themselves. It’s all just verbal-diarrhea all over their social media pages. To get old fashioned – it’s very uncouth.

We need to be taking a step back and realizing that some things are not meant to be shared on social media. We need to keep things to ourselves or among close family and friends, shared person to person.  Personal issues and relationship issues shouldn’t be broadcasted online. We shouldn’t be throwing our spouses and partners under the bus online in front of everyone and their dog. Some thing should not be posted on a public forum.

Like a brand new car. And the comment typed with it was not very flattering either. On top of that, many people commented on the picture saying she JUST got a new car last year….. Her only reply? I was a really good girl this year. (o.O) Wow. So tacky it hurts.

As a possible customer she lost all of my business in that moment. I will not be ordering from her at all at any point. Why? She clearly does not need the money. And she boasts online, making others feel bad. I watched the comments and saw many folks saying things like, “It must be nice to buy a new car every year!” We live in a very low income state. To boldly throw your wealth in the faces of others who are struggling, especially around the holiday season, is disrespectful. I wouldn’t be surprised if less folks order from her after that. I sure will not. I don’t support that kind of behavior.

Greed and bragging look ugly no matter who does it. I make it a point to not brag about anything in my life other than saying my life is good! I do occasionally say how amazing Mr. Divine is, but not to a point that is intentionally trying to rub it in the face of others. I feel this woman was very out of line in her post and her behavior. I don’t feel it was a professional or classy move. As a business person, it was not a very wise move. It just did not make her look good at all.

And it’s not the first time I’ve seen it. I had some former friends who felt the need to post pictures of every gift they got for birthdays and Christmas, almost in a way to shame those who didn’t get them things or didn’t get them as nice of things as they wanted. They often tagged people in posts with items listed they wanted, telling those people to buy those items for them! Just up front, “Buy this for me!” Hello greed! You sure are looking greedy today.

Life is full of wonderful things that we want to talk about. There is nothing wrong with that if your intentions are innocent and you are considerate in how you go about it. When you blatantly brag, shame others, and ask for things – that is an issue. It is unflattering and it isn’t the way adults should act. What example do we set for our children by telling them not to brag or be greedy, and then turning around and doing just that??

We need to get back to a place of thinking before we act. T.H.I.N.K. Is it True? Is it Helpful? Is it Inspiring? Is it Necessary? Is it Kind? This saying is printed out and hung on our wall in our living room for a reason. Because I follow what I teach. I want my WHOLE family to focus on making good choices all around. I want us all to strive to be the best people possible each day.

If we all took the time to do just a little bit better each day, the world would be a much better place! ❤

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Why My Family Comes First

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I see a lot of families everywhere I go. There are many, many types of families. I love how unique and individual each family unit is. Every family is something special and different. That’s what makes a family a family – unique structure and bond created to best suit the members in it.

I am pretty sure Facebook has become the place for inspiration for a lot of writings, though most are not positive inspirations. It has become a very negative and toxic environment. What used to be a place to share and celebrate life with those you know turned into a cesspool of hate, anger, and inappropriate behavior. I rarely go on Facebook anymore unless it is to list items to sell. Even my own personal feed is filled with garbage I don’t want to see.

I’ve had old friends make comments to me about how I spend all my time with Mr. Divine and Little Divine now, how I don’t make time for anyone else. I’ve had people invite me to Girls Night Out events and get mad when I don’t go. Or they make remarks how we are always together as a family.

I see nothing wrong with this. In fact, I see an issue with the fact that those people need to get away from their families. That is a big issue that needs to addressed. The wives who need a Girls Night Out to drink and bitch about everything are not for me. I am happy with my life and my relationship. If I have an issue in my relationship I address it with Mr. Divine. I don’t blast it on Facebook or trash talk him to everyone I know. That’s disrespectful. Yet I see women doing this all the time on Facebook.

Just as there are women flirting with other men, posting sexed up selfies, and putting their husbands down on a public social media forum. It’s embarrassing. It baffles me how 5 posts later they are complaining their husbands don’t listen to their needs. My advice is to stop flirting with every male human being you see, put your boobs away, and start focusing on your marriage. Why in the world would your husband respect you or put any of your needs first when you behave that way??

In life you should be daily trying to better yourself and your world. You should be working to be the best you possible and the best mom/dad/sister/brother/son/daughter/etc. you can be. Our family works together to make our family unit as healthy and happy as possible. No one person makes all the decisions, no one person’s needs come first, no one person is more important than the rest.  We all contribute and all put the others in our family as a priority.

Family values are on the decline in a big way. I see it daily and it saddens me. We need to be focused on putting our families first and fixing them. They are a priority and they set the example for our children on what life is supposed to be like. Our kids need healthy households and healthy examples.

This is why my family comes first. This is why I do so much with my family. This is why I don’t do Girls Night Out or bar nights with friends. That’s a single girl’s game. I absolutely have time for friends who act like adults and put their own families first. We have some really great friends who we spend time with monthly, some months weekly. They are great people who set a good example for their children and who are enjoyable to be around. They don’t behave like spoiled children wanting to live like they are single while they are in a marriage and have children to raise. They are the kind of people I want around my daughter.

As kids get older they can see the kind of people adults spend their time with. I want to Little Divine to see that we are making good choices on friends. I’ve had to back off from several friends in the last few months due to this. She is old enough to understand what is going on in a lot of situations and that has led to a lot of discussions in recent months. It’s made me think long and hard about who I keep around as a friend!

I love my family and I love being with them. We truly enjoy spending time together no matter what we are doing. They are great people who bring so much good into my life. They give me joy and make me laugh. They are fun to talk to and share experiences with. I love both Little Divine and Mr. Divine. I’m really lucky because Mr. Divine is my best friend and I get to share everything with him. I would not want life any other way. I am truly blessed to share life with them!

The next time someone tries to guilt you for not wanting to go out and drink and bash your husband, tell them NO with no guilt at all! Those of you out there who are putting your family first and are trying to build a strong foundation – kudos to you! What you are doing is amazing and it is something to be proud of. People are not making good choices on a daily basis in our current culture. Putting your family first and trying to be the best you can be is admirable.

Don’t ever feel guilty for putting your family first! ❤

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