Know When To Fold Em

A lot has changed in the last month. My ex left a month ago. So much has gone on since then, most of it good. I’ve learned A LOT and I am thankful for each lesson. I feel like I can speak from such a different place now at a month than I could at a week.

First off – I am GLAD that it is over. As more time has passed, I’ve realized just how horrible of a human I was with. I cannot believe I stayed as long as I did. I think that people who are more empathetic and those who want to help others can often fall prey to people like that. You want to help them, love them, and take care of them – like puppy you rescue from the pound. The problem is that these are people who are content to be broken and damaged. THEY DO NOT WANT TO CHANGE. These are people who would rather suck the life, joy and love out of everyone around then rather than get help to be a better person. That’s a pretty disturbing realization!

Some people cannot be helped or saved. Some people are just never going to be kind or caring or loving. Please do not waste any of your time and energy on them. I know that sounds very harsh, but in reality most of them will be a waste to put anything into. You might get lucky and make it work for a bit, or you might get lucky and find 1 out of the 100 that you can actually help. The chances aren’t high. You will lose a lot of yourself in the process as well.

I lost most of myself in my past relationship. I had the life sucked out of me. My joy and happiness were stolen. I was absolutely miserable. I stayed because I took my commitment seriously and I wanted to give our little family a fair chance. While I am thankful for the bits of good that we gained from it, I honestly feel I never should have stayed… I saw red flags from week one. Yet I stayed. I was determined to be the one who loved and stuck with this extremely damaged man.

And I suffered the consequences for my choice.

Thankfully, he left. I really lucked out! Now I am FREE. I get to rebuild my life on MY terms. What happens in my world is up to ME. Everything is a choice and I get to be the one making them. For the first time in years, I am truly happy again! I have gone through the grieving process because it’s normal to grieve something you’ve lost even if it was very unhealthy. I started counseling to ensure I never end up with someone like him again. I started reading articles online about making wise choices with relationships, as well as ones that give you a list of red flags to look out for.

I’ve started socializing again and that has had a HUGE impact on my life! I’ve now gone to two comicon events locally in just the span of a month! And I loved it!! (^.^) I always wanted to go but I was with someone who made excuses all the time. Now there is nothing keeping me from doing something I love! I’ve won prizes for my cosplays at both events, and the last one I even won first place!! How incredible is that?! None of that would have ever happened if he hadn’t left. I would have missed out on so much life!

I’ve made almost 50 friends in the last month as well. Cosplayers, mutual friends of friends, old friends, photographers, geeks, ladies from the 310 Community. I’ve gotten to meet so many new and amazing people, and reconnect with people I knew before! I’m building new relationships and bonds with HEALTHY people who respect me, appreciate me, and treat me kindly. It’s a little bit of shell shock after spending years with someone the opposite of that! But it’s a great kind of shell shock. (^.^) I’m now experiencing life as it’s meant to be. Life SHOULD be fun and exciting and filled with great people and a lot of joy!

I’ve got exciting plans for my future and I look forward to each day now. I’m taking new opportunities and chances, and I’m only gaining positive things from doing so! I got to make my dream come true of hand making a super detailed and accurate cosplay for a character I love! I’m also starring in a friend’s short film, and it’s a horror flick slasher style which is so fun! What a neat thing to be able to cross off my bucket list!

I am sharing all of this for a reason – I want the same for YOU. I want to be able to use what I went through to help you make better choices for yourself. You deserve to be happy and surrounded by healthy people just as much as I do! I know you can do it for yourself because I did it. No, it is not easy to change your whole world. But the rewards from doing so are endless! Most importantly, you will have true joy in your life and you need that. Life is not about suffering or being a martyr. It’s about taking care of you and those you care about in a healthy way.

A toxic person is not worth being a martyr for!

In the end, we only have so many years alive. Don’t waste yours on people who are negative life sucking monsters. Don’t give them any of you. If you already have one in your life, take some time and really think about if it’s a healthy person for you to be involved with. Make sure you aren’t sacrificing 100% of yourself for this person. You should never have to give up all of who you are for someone else.

You are strong enough to walk away from toxic people. I know you are amazing and I know you can do it. Build the life you’ve always wanted. Build a life of happiness, peace, joy, laughter, and amazing memories! You have every right to have a life like that! You can make your world whatever you want it to be. Every choice is up to you.

If you need someone to talk to, feel free to message or email me. I am happy to encourage you on your journey to better things! Sometimes we just need someone else to remind us how amazing and strong we really are. And you my friend, are both! <3

Don’t forget to check out my Esty Shoppe featuring unique and one of a kind items! Dragon Fire Rose

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My Etsy Shoppe Can Now Ship Internationally!

I’m ecstatic right now! I found a way to make international shipping for my small jewelry business a reality and without extreme extra costs!

I had been keeping my sales to the United States only, but I recently sold a Southwestern style set to a gentleman who’s wife works in London. He said that they adore her Southwester jewelry where she works and ask to buy it off of her! He suggested I find a way to ship my pieces internationally because he felt it would open up the market more for me.

A little about this business – I have been running Dragon Fire Rose since 2013. We’ve done everything from selling Lego figures to selling kids gift sets to selling jewelry. I have the creative bug in my soul and I just *LOVE* coming up with new ideas of fun things to sell!

I started making very simple fashion earrings. Nothing fancy, just cute little charms on silver plated hooks. I sell them super cheap because I understand now everyone has a huge budget for accessories. Some of us scrimp and save just to supply our family’s basic needs. I get that 100%!

I kept going to the jewelry supply shops and would just have my breath taken away by the amazing pieces I saw there. I wanted to turn them into something so badly! I eventually took the plunge and followed my heart. In winter 2016 I began hand making jewelry sets. Again, I kept budget in mind and used a mix of plated pieces to keep prices for customers low. I understand that finances come first! I include a fee pair of my fashion earrings with each set. I believe that giving a little extra blesses someone and sends good karma forward!

I’ve been working on my designs and ways to keep prices low. I also take a few sets and make them higher end for the folks looking to spend more. I have a GORGEOUS amethyst set waiting to be made! I am planning to use sterling silver on the set and I found a lovely Italian purse in a silver shade that I want to pair with it for the ultimate set!

A little about me – I worked full time as a nanny until last September. I had a nasty fall in the end of summer last year that was “supposed” to heal within a couple of months. It hasn’t…. I deal with daily pain and so far I have no answers as to why. I’ve been seeing a specialist, a hand surgeon, who still can’t find the cause. So I live with pain every single day. I go to bed with pain and I wake up with pain. I don’t have full use of my right hand anymore. It’s just a part of my life now.

My jewelry business has been a way for me to try and find another way to provide an income for my family. Now I can only nanny part time. I currently work maybe once a week as I try to find more families in my town who need just once or twice a week care. I make jewelry and I paint because I truly love doing it and creating beauty fulfills me. It brings me joy to take a mix of pieces and turn them into a beautiful thing!

Now you can see why I am so excited that I can ship internationally! It means opening a wider door for my business. I plan to expand my art work this coming week with pages of old books with a print of some sort on the front. There is beauty to be found everywhere – you just have to find the person who sees the beauty in it!

If you love jewelry or artwork, if you know anyone who does, please share the link to my Etsy Shoppe. I know A LOT of people ask that kind of thing. I shared a little of my story to hopefully explain why it would mean the world to me!

I am not one to look upon this experience as a time to quit and live in misery. I look at this experience as a way to grow and expand myself. Living day to day with pain is not fun. It is not something I wish anyone to experience. Yet I STILL work hard to be productive and help my family! I refuse to quit, I refuse to give up. I will keep working however I can, and I will find my success!

Limitations hit you in life when you least expect the. I had no idea a simple fall would cause me daily pain that has lasted almost a year already. I had no idea it would change my life. Limitations will strike you at the most inopportune moments. They will hit you hard and they will hurt. They will bring you to your knees and make you question everything.

But remember – YOU HAVE TO GET BACK UP. Don’t lay down, don’t quit, don’t stop. GET BACK UP. You can fight. You can push forward.  You can find balance again. It hurts and it’s hard. It takes more work than words can express. But you have to get back up. You are stronger than you know. You can find your way again. Hang onto that hope even in the darkest hours. You are so amazing and I am so proud of you even when you fall back down again!

I want you all to know I appreciate each one of you, though I’ve never met you in person. And I want you to know you are loved and you are amazing! Thank you for being apart of this blog and thank you to those who choose to share my Etsy Shoppe info!

Remember, you can survive all that life throws at you. You are stronger than you ever imagined.

Dragon Fire Rose Creations – A place where beauty and art live!

Healthy Changes for the New Year

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A new year means a host of people talking about changes they will make in life. This is nothing new, we all do this every year and  have for a very long time. A lot of people make negative comments about being sick of hearing, “New Year, New Me” from others. I don’t think it’s ever healthy to put folks down for wanting to better themselves. It doesn’t matter what time of year it is, someone deciding to do better is ALWAYS a good thing!

I began working on myself after having Little Divine. At the time I was a young single mom and my life was a mess. I made a lot of poor life decisions and it was time to start cleaning them up. I’ve spent the last 11 years doing exactly that. It didn’t happen overnight. There were many times where I would improve one area and leave another area still stuck in bad patterns. It wasn’t an all at once process. It took me a very long time to get to a place where I could fully look at myself and my life, and work on many things at once.

It also took a very long time to see all the areas where I had faults and be humble enough to work on them. Admitting you need work in an area…. or ten…. is not easy for a lot of people, myself included. I am where I am today, and who I am today, because I was committed to working hard on myself even when it hurt.

I am far from finished! Not even close. But I have come leaps and bounds from the scared girl with a new baby, completely unsure how to life and adult in her new situation as a mom. Today I am confident in who I am as a person. I’ve learned SO much in life and I try to keep my eyes open and be aware of things in my world. Daily I try to improve myself as a person so I can grow better and better, and be a better person for those I know! ❤

I have many goals for this new year! One of our family goals is to eat a little less junk. I’m sure that is on a lot of goal lists for the year for many folks. Our world is a very different place now. Cheap and easy junk is readily available at very low prices. We don’t farm our own food for meals anymore. We rely on stores and restaurants to feed us.

We are looking forward to when we can buy a home with some acreage in the mountains nearby. When we do, we fully intend to learn how to grow our own food. Mr. Divine and his friend already hunt yearly and bring home a huge amount of meat doing so. I’d like to see us be able to do more at home as well. This will be a huge help in the, “eating less junk” goal because you can’t grow a cake in the backyard!

In the mean time, we are starting with small changes. Starting small is the best way to meet goals because you don’t overwhelm yourself. Our goal is to eat less junk, not stop eating all unhealthy things altogether. That would be such a daunting task!! I started off our new goal with a simple shopping trip to Costco. Now, normally I shop for sales and deals on all thing, ESPECIALLY food, but this week I was just so tired and spent from all we had going on.

Costco sells in bulk and often the prices are better than buying smaller amounts in the grocery stores. This is not always the case, which is why I check my sales sheets weekly. I shop the best deals and work my meals plans around them so I can spend as little as possible on the best food possible.

My goal for this week was simple – buy some produce to replace junk snacks in lunches. That was it! I picked up apples, oranges, celery, bananas and carrots. Done! While this requires I cut up things for each lunch, it’s worth the small bit of extra work to know I’m giving my family healthier food. We had been getting small snacks prepackaged that were quick and easy to add to a lunch. I’m still sending those here and there with the healthier foods just to get them gone.

I don’t like wasting food so I don’t throw it in the trash. I’d rather we eat it and it be gone, then we can focus on the other stuff. Or even throw one in here and there as a rare treat. That way no one feels deprived and it makes it a much more special item in their lunches!

Small steps will help you reach your goals! Remember to revel and celebrate in each goal you reach, no matter how small! Every step you take and every goal you meet is amazing! You should be VERY proud of yourself for working hard for yourself and doing better for YOU! ❤

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Do Your Friendships Feed Your Soul?

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Photo courtesy of thedailyquotes.com

A lot has been going on for me the last few months regarding closing the doors on some friendships in my life.

There has been a lot of back and forth over a few friendships, and there has been a few where I am certain they need to go. I set a date for after Christmas as not to be a super Grinch so that I could remove them after the holiday just to do it as nicely as possible. While the doors may have shut on those relationships, I don’t plan on being inconsiderate on how I end things. I will just quietly remove them from Facebook and if they contact me about it I will explain why they were removed as honestly but kindly as possible.

I watched a video just this morning on deciding when some friendships deserve a second chance. There are a couple I’ve wavered over because there was a lot of good I saw in those people and/or those friendships. I had seen some things over the last few years that bothered me, but more recently as I’ve grown and matured, it’s been an issue for me as I feel we are growing apart in many ways. I’m still stuck on what to do with them because I still feel back and forth over it. I’ve made no certain decisions over them yet because of that.

One friend and I have just grown apart in many ways. She is on a different level with life choices and behavior that I am not on. I’ve grown and moved past a lot of things that she has not. I see a lot of potential in her and I know she’s a good person in many ways. Yet I also see she is still stuck in a lot of immature behavior that I have no interest in. That doesn’t mean she is a horrible person, it simply means we are in different places in our lives, and I handle things in a different way.

She did not handle an issue well recently, and then flipped out on me over it…. It was the classic, “I blame you because I cannot see any faults in my behavior” defensive response so many folks do. I saw it for what it was and tried to address the actual issue in a way that hopefully might get through to her. I did not let her suck me into drama, arguing, blaming or fighting. I’m just not getting into that. It’s a waste of energy and time.

I was very thankful for the growth I’ve done because I was able to see her actions for what they were and how she was deflecting. I was able to respond with that in mind rather than getting sucked into an argument because I reacted based on only what she said. I truly hope at some point she is able to see things in that light as well! She is a very smart lady. I don’t feel she always has the best influences in her life who encourage personal growth and maturity, and I truly believe having influence that do makes a world of difference. I think she deserves good friends who lift her up, discourage negative behavior, and help bring out the best in her!

Despite that issue, I still see good in her and the friendship. I feel like there might be potential for a second chance for a friendship at some point. However, right now I don’t think that is something that will happen. Time has passed and we haven’t spoken since the disagreement. Nothing has changed or moved forward toward repair. It’s unfortunate but that is just the situation at the moment. I fully believe in setting healthy boundaries in your life and standing by them when others try to break them. One of the things that I did not appreciate from her was comments attacking me for sharing on Facebook that I was setting healthy boundaries for myself and was weeding out those who did not respect them. It is never okay to attack a person for setting healthy boundaries! They are much needed! And again, this is something she said because of the place she’s in, not because of me.

I don’t take removing friends from my life lightly in any way. It is necessary at times though. This is an unfortunate fact of life we will face many times in our lives. These are toxic people who you need to have the courage to walk away from completely. They are only harming you and those you interact with. I hope that my friend, and everyone else out there, will find that courage for themselves so they can remove the influences that hurt their lives. Those people will drain you and suck the life out of you. You CANNOT move onward to better things if you are keeping yourself stuck in a circle of negativity!

I will continue to think on the friendships I have that I am uncertain about. It’s always best to put a lot of time, thought, care, and consideration into major decisions with those you care deeply about. As for the folks I’ve had to part ways with, I am truly thankful for the good memories we shared and the bits of good they put into my life – no matter how small! They came into my life for a reason and I appreciate that fact. I wish them the best in life and I truly hope each person is able to be their best one day! I don’t wish ill will on them, but that doesn’t mean they have a place in my life. Some relationships just are not meant to be.

Today I hope that each one of you who reads this finds a circle of amazing people who help you be your very best! You each deserve a circle of people who do good in your life and who aren’t a negative drain on you! I want you all to find those people and hold out for them in your life!

If I don’t talk to you tomorrow, have a very wonderful Christmas to all of you who celebrate it!! ❤❤❤

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Pay The Blessings Forward

Today was a special day for me. I received a message from the woman who purchased a jewelry set from me this weekend. It was the first set I had sold on Etsy before and she asked me to get it to her before Christmas. I got it ready on Saturday and shipped it out. Before mailing it, I added an extra little pair of earrings with it because I believe in doing a little something nice with every order. It’s my way of saying, “Thank you!” to each person who has supported my business. I adore my customers and I love them for seeing the value in what we make! ❤

This sweet customer wrote me today, telling me that the extra earrings I sent had more meaning than I knew. She had lost a dear friend a few years back and the earrings were the same symbol as she had for the person she lost. I cried when I read her message! I had no idea when I picked them out for her package, they just seemed to be the right fit. And I ended up blessing her by that gesture and doing something special for her.

Folks this is a reminder to pay things forward. Little bits of kindness no matter how small can change someone’s whole day. They can bless their lives in a way you can’t imagine. You may think it’s not much, but to someone else it could mean the whole world. ❤

Life is hard and ugly. Anything that we can do to make it a little less so is so vital. Hold doors open for people. Help elderly folks take out their groceries. Pay for the person’s food behind you at the fast food place. Send an extra gift to someone for no reason. Smile at cashiers and tell them thank you for their hard work. Anything you can do to put more good in the world for others!

I got nothing out of this experience today other than a blessed heart and happiness. I don’t do any of these things expecting gains in return. I do it because life is hard and ugly. And so many times I didn’t have any kindness in my world when I could have used it. So I do it for others because I want to be the person I needed through my hard times. I want to be the good I didn’t have around me when things were dark.

The quote, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” from Mahatma Gandhi is monumental. All the times you look back on your life with sadness or bitterness, because you needed something that you didn’t get, those are the things to do now for others. You know how it feels to desperately need some show of kindness or love. Do that for others. Be that person who lights up someone’s day by a simple gesture. Do it because it builds who you are up as a person and it blesses you because you blessed someone else.

My first sale on Etsy will be something I always remember because of this special moment! I did something to bless another person and I didn’t even know I was doing it! It changed everything about this sale and made it all the more special to me. I couldn’t have asked for anything better! ❤

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Motivational Monday – Work For Your Dreams

On Saturday morning Mr. Divine and I got up and Little Divine wasn’t up yet. I made us coffee and we both sat down at our desks. Our desks are side by side (so sweet!) and we often do games together so it’s nice to be nearby. I always check my email in the morning and check Facebook for sales, etc. One of my favorite people right now is Jamie Primak Sullivan, author of The Southern Education of a Jersey Girl. I listen to her morning videos and check out the inspirational and motivational stuff she shares on her Facebook page. She’s been a huge reminder to me that there ARE good quality people out there, you just have to be patient and not accept crappy people in your life until you find them.

This weekend her video was about, “Why not you?” and she talked about how there’s no reason you can’t be the one to have your dreams. I really felt it hit home with me because I’ve been going through a lot of self-doubt lately with putting childcare on the back burner and trying to focus more on making jewelry and photos. It’s very scary to take a leap into something new when you aren’t sure what will happen! Plus I had several friends who were supposed to support me or who had ordered items from me that ended up flaking and letting me down. Not only did that hurt me as a person, but it hurt my business.

I got a lot from watching her video and it reminded me that I CAN succeed in my dream if I keep at it and I can keep confidence in it. I think the big thing we need to remember is that our dreams can’t happen while we sit on the couch dreaming them. We have to be fully committed to MAKING them happen, and that takes work! You can to put yourself behind what you are doing 100% and put in the effort to accomplish it. I think that’s where a lot of people lose their vision, because there is so much work involved.

Everything in life takes work. This is something we teach Little Divine constantly because we don’t want her to have the mentality of so many others out there who don’t want to put in any effort for anything. Life takes hard work! You don’t get where you are going by not doing hard work. Anything good in life will take lots of hard work. And the rewards from it will be totally worth it!

I sat at my desk next to Mr. Divine and he heard the theme of the video I was listening too. He asked me if I had seen the Shia Labeouf motivational video, which I had not. Let me tell you, it’s a hoot! Shia is a *unique* character. His motivational video is him in front of a green screen, screaming at you to just do what you need to do. I have to say, as silly as his video was, it definitely can be a good motivator! Having something tell you to, “JUST DO IT!!!” has a way of getting your blood pumping to get something done!

Taking what I got from both videos, I walked away with a renewed sense to make my dreams happen. I am really good at making beautiful jewelry pieces. I walk into a store, I look at the pieces, and I can make something gorgeous out of them. I’m excited to get even more detailed in my work and use bead necklaces I’ve made as well. I’m excited to see what wonderful creations I can come up with!

Everyone comment I’ve had on my sets so far has been how beautiful, gorgeous or stunning they are. That says A LOT. I am not saying this to brag in any way. I am saying this to make a point. Clearly I have something here. Clearly I am doing something right. Clearly I am doing something that catches the eye of others. I need to take that and run with it!

As I am sitting at my desk, discussing this with Mr. Divine, and setting my resolve to make my little business bloom, an email comes in. It is a lady messaging me on Etsy asking if she can pay extra to get one of my jewelry sets rush mailed to her! I wrote her back, offering to ship it out priority 2-3 day mail at not extra cost. She was thrilled, and paid for the set immediately!

Yes, that was my first ever jewelry set sale on Etsy! I cannot express in words how excited I was! I may have also cried a little. I have sold one set locally and one set on Etsy. I’ve been making these sets for 2 weeks. Just TWO WEEKS. And I’ve sold two! Maybe that doesn’t seem like a lot to some folks, but to me that bodes very well!

Successful people did not give up on their dreams. They did not quit when things got hard, or their plans weren’t going right. They kept at it. They kept their eye on the prize. They continued to work hard and deal with bumps in the road. You cannot achieve success by quitting. You cannot achieve success without doing the work. Your dreams are very much worth it! You should be able to live your dreams and make them happen! Please don’t quit on them!

Today, take the time to ask yourself what you really want in life and what you can do to make it happen. Then work at it! Don’t expect overnight changes or success. Be prepared to do a lot of hard work for a while. But don’t give up! Remember that you have people like me who support you in chasing your dreams, and who want you to succeed! Every dream, big or small, is worth it! It is worth chasing after, it is worth doing the work for, it is worth having! ❤

I am going to the store today to get pieces for a new set to make and sell. I made a deal with myself when I started this that if I sell a set, I turn right around and use some of the money from it to make a new set right away. This way I always have a good inventory available and can keep pushing sales. If you are interested, feel free to check out what I’m creating on my Etsy Shop or my Facebook page!

One major update in the next few weeks will have to be a camera. My pieces are so pretty but my phone is just not capturing the detail and the beauty enough. I think a big part of that is that it can’t zoom and the photo quality it takes. So keep an eye out for even better pics to come!

Have a wonderful and successful week every single one of you! ❤

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